I'll admit, I nearly had a heart attack when I rolled over in bed this morning, checked my e-mail and saw an article on Microsoft's giving $750 million to civic improvement in the Seattle area. Then I woke up a bit and realized it was April 1.
The Crosscut piece by "Jiff Freeman" (i.e. Jeff Reifman) was just one of the many fake Microsoft news items on April Fools Day 2010.
In bold stroke, Microsoft solves 520, Seattle Center problems 
Crosscut: In a joint news conference today, Gov. Christine Gregoire and Microsoft General Counsel Brad Smith announced Microsoft's contribution of $500 million to rebuild the 520 floating bridge and $250 million to renovate Seattle Center. Under the agreement, replacement bridge construction will begin immediately using plans developed privately by architects hired by Microsoft. | Read story
Tiger Woods to star in upcoming Windows 7 ads 
CIO.com:Microsoft's first choice was comedian, and one-time Microsoft pitchman, Jerry Seinfeld, who was reportedly asked to come back for round two with the promise that the new ads "would actually make sense." Nevertheless, Seinfeld turned the offer down and was quoted as saying: "No (expletive) way. Those ridiculous commercials with Gates almost ruined my legacy. What's the DEAL with these PEOPLE at Microsoft?" | Read story
Clippy makes a comeback with Office 2010 
Scoop Independent News: Following an extensive beta testing period, Microsoft is considering reintroducing the animated Office Assistant – fondly nicknamed Clippy – to the latest version of the Office 2010 productivity suite. | Read story
Linus Torvalds joins Microsoft next-gen OS team, quits Linux 
ITWire: In a move certain to surprise, shock and even anger many, the creator of the Linux kernel, Linus Torvalds, today signed up as Chief Software Architect with Microsoft to work on the Redmond Giant's next-generation operating system with Dave Cutler. | Read story
Microsoft to help Wash. to become hotbed for nuclear energy
Seattle End Times: In a wide ranging agreement with the state, Microsoft will construct and operate nuclear plants in nine cities: Seattle, Tacoma, Olympia, Vancouver, Bellingham, Forks, Yakima and Spokane; including the Hanford plant, which will be re-activated in September. | Read story
Windows Phone 7 Series to be open-source 
PocketNow.com: Microsoft announced today that its newest mobile operating system Windows Phone 7 Series will be open source. The announcement came early this morning out of Redmond stating that developers will be able to create their own programs starting the official launch of the new operating system starting in late October. | Read story
Microsoft acquires Novell 
TechRights: Novell, Inc. (Nasdaq: NOVL) today announced that Microsoft had agreed to acquire Ximian, along with its owner which possesses UNIX, one of Microsoft's most formidable competitors. | Read story
Microsoft interested in buying Canonical 
Techie Buzz: According to a leaked company memo, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is reportedly interested in buying Canonical, the company behind the popular Linux Distro Ubuntu. | Read story
Microsoft announces Xbox 360 Connect for Win Phone 7 
Windows Phone Thoughts: Wireless controllers out of battery? Too lazy to untangle that wired controller? Enter Xbox 360 Connect for Windows Phone 7 Series. Microsoft's latest innovation will allow you to connect your Windows Phone to your Xbox 360 over Wi-Fi (you'll need that pesky Wi-Fi adapter, of course) and use it as a wireless controller. | Read story
Gregoire signs controversial 'Don't Tax, Don't Tell' legislation 
The Needle: Governor Christine Gregoire has signed into law the controversial Don't Tax, Don't Tell bill that critics say will shield wealthy corporations from paying their fair share of taxes. "I don't care if Microsoft owes a billion in taxes from its Nevada office," says Gregoire. "Our state's deficit is $2.8 billion. What's the point of discussing this? Now, with this bill, no one in state government will have to." | Read story
Microsoft's $100B Nokia acquision: Absolutely unbelievable! 
Mobile Industry Review: Steve Ballmer of Microsoft got up on stage at 7am this morning in London to announce that they intend acquiring Nokia for $100 billion in a mixture of cash and equity – a substantial premium over the company's $58.2 billion market cap. The markets are going nuts, as one might expect, with Nokia shares topping $20 each, sending their current valuation to well over $74 billion already. | Read story
Google buys Microsoft 
PCWorld New Zealand: Following a spate of recent acquisitions that include photo editing site Picnik, email searchers reMail, document collaborators DocVerse and a minor European country called France, Google's CEO Eric Schmidt announced this morning that the Mountain View-based company had bought Microsoft Corporation. | Read story
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